With the new school year right around the corner and new executive boards for fraternities across the country ready to start their year in charge, I thought it would be an ideal time to tell all those new fraternity presidents out there what to expect from a former president.

In this backwards-upside-down-Stranger-Things-society we've come to accept as the cultural norm - one University has sunk the sinking ship even fucking further! 

Let's cut to the chase on this one - Sports. Are. Back. 

I'm not gonna lie... I've thought about it. Especially during those three hour lectures with that one professor who just doesn't realize that at this point - None of us actually want to pursue a career in 'Creative Writing.' 

An Open Letter to Alcohol,

To all you sister-swillin’, cousin kissin’, backwoods blowjobbers who have the audacity to go out in public with a medical mask, BUT dangle said mask below your chin –